Don't Get So Tolerant That You Tolerate

I'm More Likely To Not Invite Someone Back For Not Talking. If Someone Talks A Lot, I Can Usually Shut Them Up And Control Them. But With People Who Don't Talk, If They Don't Really Want To Talk, They Probably Shouldn't Be On This Show, And That's Fine. They're Talented People With Things To Say, But Sometimes People Say What They Have To Say Through Other Means Than Arguing.

If You Have A Gun, You Can Rob A Bank, But If You Have A Bank, You Can Rob Everyone.

There's A Word The Teabaggers Have Wanted To Use Since Obama Came On The Scene, But They Can't Because It's Not The 1950s. They Would Love To Say This Word. It Begins With An N And Ends With -er, And It's Not "nation-builder."

This Country Hates Professors. It Likes Toby Keith - 'i'm Gonna Put A Boot In Their Ass.' If You Don't Do That, Somehow You Can't Be Strong.

Just Because Your Tattoo Has Chinese Characters In It Doesn't Make You Spiritual. It's Right Above The Crack Of Your Ass, And It Translate To Beef With Broccoli. The Last Time You Did Anything Spiritual, You Were Praying To God You Weren't Pregnant. You're Not Spiritual. You're Just High.