Don't Forget To Turn Your Clocks Back

I Love Women, But I Feel Like You Can't Trust Some Of Them. Some Of Them Are Liars, You Know? Like I Was In The Park And I Met This Girl, She Was Cute And She Had A Dog. And I Went Up To Her, We Started Talking. She Told Me Her Dog's Name. Then I Said, 'does He Bite?' She Said, 'no.' And I Said, 'oh Yeah? Then How Does He Eat?' Liar.

Right Before I'm About To Talk At Length About Something I Like I Say, Get Me Started.

A Car Alarm Is A Way For A Car To Tell Everyone That Its Owner Is An Asshole.

My Original Goal Was Just To Do Stand-up But Then I Became Interested In Films - Writing A Film, Shooting One Someday, And Getting To Act In Them.

You Are Ten Times More Likely To Get Hit By A Car When The Driver Is Aiming For You.