Dogs Are Nicer Than People.

Walking Is Good For The Soul.

We All Ought To Understand We're On Our Own. Believing In Santa Claus Doesn't Do Kids Any Harm For A Few Years But It Isn't Smart For Them To Continue Waiting All Their Lives For Him To Come Down The Chimney With Something Wonderful. Santa Claus And God Are Cousins.

I Dislike Loud-mouthed Patriots Who Suggest They Like Our Country More Than I Do. Some People's Idea Of Patriotism Is Hating Other Countries.

For Every Stunning, Smart, Well-coiffed Hot Woman Of 40 +, There Is A Balding, Paunchy Relic In Yellow Pants Making A Fool Of Himself With Some 22-year-old Waitress.

I Never Get Over Feeling Bad About Tearing Open A Beautifully Wrapped Present. It Takes Ten Seconds To Destroy A Work Of Art That Took Someone Ten Minutes To Accomplish.