Do You Think It's Possible That When

Americans Are Desperately, Here On The West Coast, Buying Up And Hoarding Iodine Pills... Isn't It Great That In A Land That Is Divided Between Conservative Morons And Liberal Pussies, Somehow We Have Managed To Find A Way To Pull Together And Behave Like Moronic Pussies?

New Rule: Someone Must X-ray My Stomach To See If The Peeps I Ate On Easter Are Still In There, Intact And Completely Undigested. And I'm Not Talking About This Past Easter. I'm Talking About The Last Time I Celebrated Easter, In 1962.

The Great Thing About Having Been Poor Is How Liberated It Makes You If You Eventually Become Rich. There's Nothing Like The Knowledge That You Don't Need Money To Survive. That The Money Cushion You Lie On Every Night Doesn't Have To Be Three Feet Thick, And You Can Still Get To Sleep.

Being A Conservative Also Used To Involve The Concept Of People Being Free To Do Whatever They Want To Do, As Long As It Doesn't Hurt Somebody Else. Conservatives Used To Be Very Libertarian.

If We Go Back To The Beginning, We Shall Find That Ignorance And Fear Created The Gods; That Fancy, Enthusiasm, Or Deceit Adorned Them; That Weakness Worships Them; That Credulity Preserves Them And That Custom, Respect And Tyranny Support Them In Order To Make The Blindness Of Men Serve Their Own Interests. If The Ignorance Of Nature Gave Birth To Gods, The Knowledge Of Nature Is Calculated To Destroy Them.