Did You Hear About The Dog That

Arnold Schwarzenegger Is Blaming Man For Global Warming. And Today, Al Gore Agreed With Him. That's So Typical. Two Cyborgs, 'oh, Let's Blame The Humans.'

President Obama Has Begun A Three-state Bus Tour. I Believe The Three States Are: Confusion, Delusion, And Desperation.

The Fcc Is Considering Lifting The Ban On Cellphone Calls On Planes. The Good News Is You'll Be Able To Make Calls During Your Flight. The Bad News? The Person Sitting Next To You Will Be Able To Make Cellphone Calls During Yourflight.

The First Case Of Mad Cow Disease Since 2006 Was Discovered Right Here In The United States. The Good News, Since The Cow Is In California, Instead Of Putting The Cow Down, They Are Going To Enroll Him In Anger Management Classes.

Jesse Jackson Also Said He Thought Barack Obama Was Talking Down To Black People By Lecturing Them On Things Like Fatherhood And Being A Responsible Husband. Jesse Thought It Was Insulting, Not Only To Him, But To His Former Mistress And Their Love Child.