Did You Ever Notice That People Who

Person-to-person, Most People Are Honest.

I Just Wish Insignificance Had More Stature.

I Often Pass A Farm With Cows Grazing In The Field And I Think To Myself How Terrible It Is That Human Beings Grow Other Animals Just To Kill Them And Eat Them. Most Of Us Think Of Vegetarians As Nuts And I'm Not A Vegetarian But I Wouldn't Be Surprised If We Came To A Time In 50 Or 100 Years When Civilized People Everywhere Refused To Eat Animals.

Yes, We Praise Women Over 40 For A Multitude Of Reasons. Unfortunately, It's Not Reciprocal. For Every Stunning, Smart, Well-coiffed, Hot Woman Over 40, There Is A Bald, Paunchy Relic In Yellow Pants Making A Fool Of Himself With Some 22-year Old Waitress. Ladies, I Apologize. For All Those Men Who Say, "why Buy The Cow When You Can Get The Milk For Free?", Here's An Update For You. Nowadays 80% Of Women Are Against Marriage. Why? Because Women Realize It's Not Worth Buying An Entire Pig Just To Get A Little Sausage!

You Really Can't Blame The Military For Wanting To Go To War [in Iraq]. They've Got All These New Toys And They Want To Know Whether They Work Or Not.