Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld Said This Week

If I Have One Advantage, It's That I Will Try To Work Harder Than The Next Guy.

President Obama Released His Tax Returns. It Turns Out He Made $900,000 Less In 2011 Then He Did In 2010. You Know What That Means? Even Obama Is Doing Worse Under President Obama.

They Were Going Crazy In Kansas. People Were Up To 9 P.m. I Think That Was The Greatest Thing To Happen To Kansas Since The Eradication Of The Boll Weevil.

It Was Reported In The Paper That President Bush Received A 'warm Reception' From The Daytona 500 Drivers. Well Sure, The Drivers Had Never Met Anyone Who Was Sponsored By More Oil Companies Than They Were.

I Tell You, The Economy Is In Bad Shape. In Fact, The Economy Is So Bad, President Barack Obama's New Slogan Is 'spare Change You Can Believe In.'