Daddy, When He Drank, Just Became Sweeter.

Originally, I Came From Texas, And We Lived On - I Guess You'd Call It Welfare, What We Called Relief.

If You See A Kid In School, Who Is A Little Shy ... That's When You Should Reach Out. When You Do, You Are Going To Open Up A Flower And Discover Something Wonderful.

Have You Noticed That All You Need To Grow Healthy, Vigorous Grass Is A Crack In Your Sidewalk? Having A Baby Is Like Taking Your Lower Lip And Forcing It Over Your Head.

It Costs A Lot To Sue A Magazine, And It's Too Bad That We Don't Have A System Where The Losing Team Has To Pay The Winning Team's Lawyers.

In '57, I Got A Job At The Blue Angel Nightclub, And A Gentleman Named Ken Welch Wrote All My Material For Me. I Lived At A Place Called The Rehearsal Club That Was Actually The Basis For A Play Called Stage Door.