Column Writing Is Like Gas - It

Unlike Furious Thin-lipped Feminists, I Tend Not To Draw Distinctions Between Men And Women, Apart From In Bed Where You Really Do Need To Spot The Difference.

Speed Has Never Killed Anyone. Suddenly Becoming Stationary, That's What Gets You.

Some Say He Never Blinks, And That He Roams Around The Woods At Night Foraging For Wolves. All We Know Is He’s Called The Stig.

The Suzuki Wagon R Should Be Avoided Like Unprotected Sex With An Ethiopian Transvestite

Do Not Cruise Through Red Lights. Because If I'm Coming The Other Way, I Will Run You Down, For Fun.