Cell Phones Are Like A Dog's Nipples...

I'm Not Catholic, But I Gave Up Picking My Belly Button For Lint.

I Give Money To Unicef Because I Like The 'bang For Your Buck' Aspect. Here's $10, Go And Save 1,000 Kids From Blindness!

I Was In A Bar The Other Night, Hopping From Barstool To Barstool, Trying To Get Lucky, But There Wasn't Any Gum Under Any Of Them.

All The Nations Of The Earth Must Learn To Live Together In Peace. Why Be Prejudiced Against Anyone Because Of Their Race, Nationality, Or Creed? When There's So Many Real Reasons To Hate Others.

Whatever Happened To The Good Ole Days, When Children Worked In Factories?