Carol Burnett Was Particularly Funny. She Swore

My First Appearance As A Guest On The Tonight Show Was In '81.

They Should Put Expiration Dates On Clothing So We Men Will Know When They Go Out Of Style.

I Think Sometimes I Should Do More Carousing, Because I Don't Do Much And Maybe It Would Be Fun Occasionally. It's Hard For Me To Have Fun And I'm A Serious Thinker And A Searcher And Funny From The Front.

You Know It's Funny That None Of The Regular Late-night Shows Now Use Guest Hosts The Way Johnny Did. No One Talks About It Much, But It's Curious That They Don't Do It. They Would Each Have To Be Asked The Reason Why They Don't.

I'm Very Loyal In A Relationship. Any Relationship. When I Go Out With My Mom, I Don't Look At Other Moms And Go, "i Wonder What Her Macaroni And Cheese Tastes Like."