Because Of Acid, I Now Know That

I Had A Chicken Finger That Was So Big, It Was A Chicken Hand.

I Got Some Tartar-control Toothpaste A While Back. I've Still Got Tartar, But It's Under Control.

I Bought Myself A Parrot, But It Did Not Say "i'm Hungry", And So It Died.

I'm Always On The Road, And I Drive Rental Cars. Sometimes I Don't Know What's Going On With The Car, And I'll Drive For Ten Miles With The Emergency Brake On. That Doesn't Say A Lot For Me, But It Doesn't Say A Lot For The Emergency Brake. What Kind Of Emergency Is This? I Need To Not Stop Now. It's Not Really An Emergency Brake, It's An Emergency Make-the-car-smell-funny Lever.

I Want To Ride In A Cold Air Balloon. "this Isn't Going Anywhere!"