Because Drug Dealers Shoot Each Other In

Like Every Big Organisation These Days, The Bbc Is Obsessed With The Wellbeing Of Those Who Set Foot On Its Premises. Studios Must Display Warning Notices If There Is Real Glass On The Set, And The Other Day I Was Presented With A Booklet Explaining How To Use A Door. I Am Not Kidding.

I Love Alfa Romeos And That [alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio] Was Tremendous.

She Can Take A Year To Read Something, Whereas I Like A Book That Becomes More Important In My Life That Life Itself. When I Was In The Middle Of 'red Storm Rising' By Tom Clancy - Which Was Not Selected For The Man Booker Shortlist - You Could Have Taken My Liver Out And Fed It To The Dog. And I Wouldn't Have Noticed.

Does Anyone Really Imagine For A Moment That My Wife Gives Two Stuffs About Global Warming? She Certainly Did Not Appear To Be All That Bothered On Thursday Evening When, During The Great Carbon-saving Switch-off, I Ran Round The House Furiously Turning On Every Light, Hair Dryer, Dishwasher And Toaster.

Why Is The Forecast So Bland? Why Instead Of 'stormy' Don't They Just Say The Sea's 'a Frothing Maelstrom Of Terror And Hopelessness'?