Bacon's The Best, Even The Frying Of

I Think Growing Up In Indiana Prepares Anyone For A Life In Comedy. I Do Feel Like There Is A Certain Kind Of Self-effacing Cynicism Among All Hoosiers.

Lifetime Is Television For Women. Yet For Some Reason, There's Always A Woman Getting Beaten On That Channel. "in A Lifetime Original, Meredith Baxter-berney Gets Beaten With A Rod. In A Lifetime Original, Rod."

Don't You Expect A Rainbow Coming Out Of The Tub Of Bacon Strips At The End Of The Buffet Line?

I've Never Eaten A Hot Pocket And Then Afterwards Been, I'm Glad I Ate That. I'm Always Like, I'm Gonna Die.

I Wish, In Some Ways, I Was The Type Of Comedian Who Could Do Something Blistering And Topical, But I'm The Guy Who Gets Stuck In The Revolving Door And Thinks I Should Write About That.