As A Kid It's Adorable To Have

My Dream Of Course, As A Writer And A Person Who's An Entertainer, Is: Grow Up To Be Mindy Kaling, Don't Grow Up To Be Mindy Lahiri.

I’m The One Who Looks At The Infant, Smiles Nervously, And As My Contribution To Small Talk, Robotically Announces To The Parent, “your Child Looks Healthy And Well Cared For.

If It Weren't For My Imagination, I Would Weigh Ten Thousand Pounds. This Is Because The Only Way I Am Able To Exercise Anymore Is Through A Long And Vivid Revenge Fantasy.

You Should Never Have To Say Hello Or Goodbye. Even At Work Sometimes, And I Know This Is Very Unpopular, Is That If I'm Going To Work Every Single Day, I Don't Think You Should Have To Hug People Hello Every Single Day When You Come To Work. I Saw You Monday!

There Has Ceased To Be A Difference Between My Awake Clothes And My Asleep Clothes