Any Mother With Half A Skull Knows

I Didn't Fear Old Age. I Was Just Becoming Increasingly Aware Of The Fact That The Only People Who Said Old Age Was Beautiful Were Usually Twenty-three Years Old.

My Mother Won't Admit It, But I've Always Been A Disappointment To Her. Deep Down Inside, She'll Never Forgive Herself For Giving Birth To A Daughter Who Refuses To Launder Aluminium Foil And Use It Over Again.

With Boys, You Always Know Where You Stand. Right In The Path Of A Hurricane.

Good Kids Are Like Sunsets. We Take Them For Granted.

Throughout The Years I Have Set Up My Own Rules About Eating Food: Never Eat Anything You Can't Pronounce. Beware Of Food That Is Described As, "some Americans Say It Tastes Like Chicken.