Any Man Who Would Walk Five Miles

No Matter How Often I Tell People I'm Thirty-nine Some Of Them Refuse To Believe I'm That Old.

I'm Living In A Very Modest Place. I Have A Room Over-looking Beautiful Claridge's Hotel. I Thought It Was Better Than Paying Claridge's Prices And Overlooking The Dump I'm Living In.

Comedy Itself Is Based Upon Very Old Principles Of Which I Can Readily Name Seven. They Are, In Short: The Joke, Exaggeration, Ridicule, Ignorance, Surprise, The Pun, And Finally, The Comic Situation.

A Rich Man Is One Who Isn't Afraid To Ask The Salesperson To Show Him Something Cheaper.

I Gambled At The Crap Table All Night And Finally Lost $8, But During That Time The House Gave Me Four Drinks And Two Cigars, So It Was Still A Lot Cheaper Than Renting A Room.