All This Health And Safety Talk Is

Now We Get Quite A Lot Of Complaints That We Don't Feature Enough Affordable Cars On The Show So We'll Kick Off Tonight With The Cheapest Ferrari Of Them All!

Speed Focuses The Mind. It Cuts Through The Fog Of Drab Everyday Living And Keeps Us On Our Toes. Speed Works. Speed Saves Lives. Speed Is Good. And We Should Have More Of It, Not Less.

I Have A Pathological Terror Of Falling Through Ice. I Nearly Drowned Once. I Fell Off A Boat And Got A Cramp, And Was Rescued By An Oil-rig Diver, A Great Bear Of A Man Who Simply Leant Into The Water And Scooped Me Out With One Finger.

Telling People At A Dinner Party You Drive A Nissan Almera Is Like Telling Them You've Got The Ebola Virus And You're About To Sneeze.

I Was Reading The Mirror The Other Day And Came Across A Letter From A Reader Who Wrote, 'i Was Riding My Bike To Work When This Red Ferrari Pulled Up Next To Me. Out Of The Window, Jeremy Clarkson Shouted 'get A Car', And Drove Off.' What I Actually Said Was, 'get A Car You Hatchet Faced, Leaf-eating Tw*t