Again, (america Is) A Stupid Country With

People Do Not Want To Be Disillusioned By The New President [barak Obama]. The Liberals Felt, Finally, This Is Our Time. Now They're Worried. Now What They See Is More Business As Usual. We All Want To Give Him The Benefit Of The Doubt, We Know It's A Tough Job And He Inherited A Mess, But At The End Of The Day, Is It Really Change We Can Believe In When There's No Public Options And Wall Street Reform Has No Teeth In It? It Really Looks A Lot Like We Just Changed The Color.

I Think That Religion Stops People From Thinking. I Think It Justifies Crazies. I Think Flying Planes Into A Building Was A Faith-based Initiative. I Think Religion Is A Neurological Disorder. If You Look At It Logically, It's Something That Was Drilled Into Your Head When You Were A Small Child. It Certainly Was Drilled Into Mine At That Age. And You Really Can't Be Responsible When You Are A Kid For What Adults Put Into Your Head.

To Me, Being Brave Is An Element That Is So Important With Stand-up Comedy. It's Not Essential. There Are Many Comics Who Were Just Funny, And That's Fine, Too. But That's Never Been What I Was Trying To Do In Comedy. I Was Always Trying To Do Something That Involved Not Pandering To The Audience.

Next Week John Boehner Will Be Sitting Behind Barack Obama At The State Of The Union Address. I Think Obama Should Purposely Try To Embarrass Him By Telling The Story Of 'old Yeller.' The State Of Our Union Is Strong, But Not So Good For One Special Dog.'

New Rule: All Fox News Employees Must Now Refer To President Bush As "my Liege". If They Are Going To Treat President Bush Like He's An Infallible King, They Need To Start Addressing Him As If He Was An Infallible King. And They Can Do This By Addressing Him As "my Liege".