After Years Of Doing Impressions, Its Time

Operator! Give Me The Number For 911!

Beer. Now There's A Temporary Solution!

After Years Of Doing It, You Learn The Difference Between Your Ego And Your Opinion. When You're Married You Have To Cut Through That.

How I Imagined Myself Being 50 Is Not How I Am Feeling Now. You Think You'll Be Different, But I Still Feel Like I Am About 12 Years Old - Mentally, Not Physically.

Getting Out Of Jury Duty Is Easy. The Trick Is To Say You're Prejudiced Against All Races.