Actually When I Gave Out The Script,

I Always Encourage Over-tipping If You Can Afford It Because Share The Wealth.

If Democrats Want To Start Winning Elections In This Country, They're Going To Have To Start Connecting With Voters As Well As I Connect With My Fans.

I Figure It This Way - If A Woman Claims She Didn't Want Me To Fudge Her, Then You Already Know She's A Liar. So What The Hell's The Point Of A Trial, Y'know?

People Still Make New Year's Resolutions? Wow. I Figured Those Were Pointless Once I Perfected Myself By Directing, Writing, And Acting In Garden State. I Guess It Makes Sense, Though. It Gives People A Chance To Hope That They Can Become As Great As Me Someday.

I Don't Mind It If Blacks Want Equal Rights, As Long As They Mean Rights Equal To A Dog