A Salad Is Not A Meal, It

[friendships] Are Easy To Get Out Of Compared To Love Affairs, But They Are Not Easy To Get Out Of Compared To, Say, Jail.

Large, Naked, Raw Carrots Are Acceptable As Food Only To Those Who Live In Hutches Eagerly Awaiting Easter.

A Great Many People In Los Angeles Are On Special Diets That Restrict Their Intake Of Synthetic Foods. The Reason For This Appears To Be A Widely Held Belief That Organically Grown Fruits And Vegetables Make The Cocaine Work Faster.

The First Time I Ever Saw Platform Shoes In The '70s, I Knew They'd Been Revived From The '40s, And I Felt Sickened. And For Whatever Reason, They Keep Getting Revived. They've Come Back Four Times. I Wish We Could Let Them Die. They Want To Die. They Were Horrible Then, They're Horrible Now.

When I Saw A Phone On A Plane For The First Time, I Panicked ... I Thought People Were Going To Call Me.