A New Poll Shows Only 3 Percent

According To Government Auditors, The Stimulus Money Is Being Held Up Because There Aren't Enough Government Workers To Oversee The Spending. So Follow Me, In Other Words, Government Workers Who Aren't There Are Needed To Spend Money We Don't Have To Create Jobs That Don't Exist.

Bill Maher And I Are On Against Each Other, And We're Friends. He Can Do My Show Any Time He Wants, And I've Done Politically Incorrect Several Times. There's No Reason To Think Competition Has To Be Adversarial.

How Many Watched The President's Speech Last Night? [half-hearted Audience Applause] How Many Watched American Idol ? [thundering Applause] Okay, There You Go! You Get The Government You Deserve.

President Obama's Re-election Campaign Said That This Year They'll Knock On 150 Percent More Doors Than They Did In 2008. Well, Of Course They Will. They Have To. There's So Many Foreclosures It's Tough To Tell Where People Live.

Today The United States Has Admitted That After Months And Months Of Searching, We Still Have No Idea Where Osama Bin Laden Is. Osama Bin Laden? We Can't Even Find Kenneth Lay.