A Lovely Thing About Christmas Is That

Years Ago, Manhood Was An Opportunity For Achievement, And Now It Is A Problem To Be Overcome.

You're Such A Big Liar You Gotta Get Your Neighbor To Call Your Dog.

The Audience Is Invisible And That's Good. Somewhere My Voice Is Drifting Through A Swine Barn And The Sound Of It Seems To Perk Up The Sows' Appetite. Or A Lady Is Listening On Headphones As She Jogs Along A Beach, Running To My Cadence. Or A Dog Sits In Front Of The Radio, Head Cocked, And The Sibilants Excite Him In Some Mysterious Way. A Dog's Humorist, That's Me.

It's Better To Be Burnished With Use Than Rusty With Principle.

Easter Is So Disappointing. You Suffer All The Way Through Lent, And What Do You Get For It? A Ham.