A Jew Never Laughs Without Looking At

I Am Excited About Getting Back To What I Do Best And What My Audience Likes Best, I Am Writing New Jokes Every Day And Soon Ill Be Telling Them Every Night. Just Me, One Jew Talking And That's It.

I've Got A Friend Who Is Half-jewish And Half-italian. If He Can't Buy It Wholesale, He Steals It!

I Don't Believe That Anybody Has Come To A Conclusion On Why Something Is Funny. It's Funny Because It's Ridiculous And It's Ridiculous For Different Reasons At Different Times.

The Main Problem With The Democrats Is Their Utter Negativity. They're Made Up Of Schumucks And Hypocrites. They Also Have Higher Levels Of Immorality.

Predictions Are Preposterous. What Usually Happens Is That People Tell You That What They'd Like To See Happen Instead Of What They Really Think Will Happen. There Are So Many Variations And Possibilities That There's No Way To Ever Really Know For Certain.