A Guy Walks Into A Pub With

Well, My Wife And I Were Married In A Toilet - It Was A Marriage Of Convenience!

Last Night I Dreamt I Ate A Ten Pound Marshmallow. When I Woke Up The Pillow Was Gone.

I Inherited A Painting And A Violin Which Turned Out To Be A Rembrandt And A Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt Made Lousy Violins And Stradivarius Was A Terrible Painter.

Went To The Corner Shop - Bought 4 Corners.

I'm On A Whisky Diet. I've Lost 3 Days Already.